I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, “That's not bad for a man of my age.”
Overhearing this, a woman remarked, “You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?”
我稱讚我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住誇耀説我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還説：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來説，是不錯的。”
一個女子聽到了這些話，她説道：“你是説你花了這麼長時間才減了1磅？”
Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
老師正在給學生上生物課：“現在，我將要給你們看我袋子裏的這隻青蛙。”接着，他把手伸進口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會兒，説道：“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經把午飯吃掉了。”
有個叫亞歷山大的小男孩寫信給聖誕老人：
“親愛的聖誕老人，去年我收到的是一個妹妹，而不是一輛賽車。也許，另一個想得到妹妹的男童卻收到了賽車。我們把那個妹妹留了下來，但現在我仍然想要一輛賽車。”
鄰居的小男孩見亞歷山大這樣寫，也趕緊給寫了一封信：
“親愛的聖誕老人，去年您雖然幫我弄到了一輛賽車，但今年我還需要一輛大一歲的新賽車。至於那個新的小妹妹，您還是留到明年送給亞歷山大吧。”
Has to be called Alexander the young boy to write a letter forSanta Claus:
“Dear Santa Claus, last year I received am a younger sister, but wasnot a vehicle race. Perhaps, another wanted to obtain the youngersister the boy actually to receive the vehicle race. We have kept thatyounger sister 焉 are, but now I still wanted a vehicle race.”
The neighbor young boy sees Alexander to write like this, also hurriedto give has written a letter:
“Dear Santa Claus, last year you although helped me to make a vehiclerace, but this year I also need a big year-old new vehicle race. Asfor that new little younger sister, you or will remain to the nextyear give Alexander.”
我懂他的話
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . “Mump umn Kmpfhm,” was all I heard.
“Drew,” I scolded, “no one can understand a word you're saying.
”He says he wants some ketchup,“ my husband said calmly . A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, ”How in the world did you understand him?“
”I'm a dentist,“ my husband explained.
在飯店吃飯的時候，我申斥我4歲的兒子，因為他滿嘴食物在説話。“喔、呢”，我聽到的就是這些。 “祖，”我責備道，“沒人明白你在説什麼。” “他説他要一些番茄醬，”我丈夫平靜地説。坐在旁邊的一位婦女靠過來問道：“你究竟如何明白他的話的呢？” “我是牙醫。”我丈夫解釋道。
Back Up Two Miles
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn 。
”If you don't back up,“ said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do.” The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. “What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?” asked the farmer's son.
“Back up two miles,” replied the farmer.
退後兩英里
一位農夫和他的兒子乘坐輕便馬車來到一段窄路，他們遇到一個開車的人向相反的方向去。兩個方向的兩英里以內都沒有地方可以使他們相擦而過。駕車人甚是着急，按響了喇叭。 “如果你不後退，”農夫説着擼起了袖子，“我可不喜歡我將不得不做的事。”司機吃驚不小，掛上倒擋，向後退了兩英里，讓輕便馬車先過去。
“剛才在那兒你説過的你不喜歡要做的事是什麼？”農夫的兒子問道。
“退後兩英里，”農夫回答道。
Charlie quarrels every year to his old father is wanting theChristmas tree, his old father always said, has too expensively notwanted to buy.
This year Christmas day arrived, Charlie's old father really quarrelsby him the headache, thereupon mentioned the axe to leave the the quarter of an hour, the old father carried on the shouldera big Christmas tree to come back. Charlie happily loudly cries out,“the old father, you are really great, only then spend the quarter ofan hour to chop a such big tree to come back!”
A Useful Way 一個有效的方法
Father: Jack， why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple， Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸：傑克，你幹嘛喝這麼多水呀？
傑克：我剛才吃了個蘋果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什麼關係呢？
傑克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。
查理每年都向他老爸吵着要聖誕樹，他老爸總是説太貴了，不想買。
今年聖誕節又到了，查理的老爸實在被他吵得頭疼，於是提起斧子出了門。過了一刻鐘，老爸扛着一棵大個的聖誕樹回來了。查理高興地大叫起來，“老爸，你真了不起，才花一刻鐘就砍了這麼大的一棵樹回來！”
老爸拍拍他的後腦勺説，“傻小子，砍樹哪有那麼快，我是從集市上帶回來的。”
查理問：“你不是嫌貴不想買的嗎？”
老爸説：“沒看我帶了斧子嗎？”
蒙田範文網