To Buy a Video 買錄像機
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一台錄像機。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽歎息着説。
可第二天當艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬着一台全新的錄像機。
你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西？媽媽大吃一驚，喘着氣説。
媽媽，這簡單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機給賣了！
Reasons
理由
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
一天清晨，媽媽去叫還在睡覺的兒子起牀。
Wake up, son.
起來，兒子。
It's time to go to school.
去學校的時間到了。
But why? I don't want to go to school.
但是為什麼？我不想去學校。
Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
給我兩個理由，你為什麼不想去學校。
One, all the children hate me.
第一，所有的孩子都恨我。
Two, all the teachers hate me.
第二，所有的老師都恨我。
Oh! That's not a reason.
()哦！這不是理由。
Come on, you have to go to school.
來吧，你必須去學校。
Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?
那給我兩個為什麼我要去學校的理由？
One, you are fiftyt-two years old and should understand your responsibilities.
第一，你都52歲了，應該明白自己的責任。
Two you are the principal of the school.
第二，你是學校的校長。
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed “FOR SALE BY OWNER” signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp“a young man asked.
我們決定賣掉我們的房子。於是，我們就在院前的大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫着：“拍賣。”沒過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問：“你們的樹想賣多少錢？”
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream e I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. ” I ordered chocolate,“I pointed out.
我和一位朋友來到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一個我最喜歡吃的巧克力奶油聖代。當女招待送來我的冰淇淋時，我發現我的冰淇沐是香草的。我説：“我要的是巧克力的。”
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，”So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate.“
那位年輕的女士查了一下訂單回答説：“你確實要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再給你拿一個巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted.”
“沒關係，”我説：“我不想浪費東西。”
“Nothing is wasted around here!”she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. “
“這兒什麼也浪費不了，”女招待堅持説：“我們吃掉自己的錯誤。”
A school report
學校成績單
The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful（憤怒的） as he read,
父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學校成績單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：
”English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair.“ and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad（少年，小夥子）。
“英語，差；法語，差；數學，中。”他厭惡地瞥了在發抖的兒子一眼。
”Well, Dad.“ said the son, ”It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?“ And he pointed to the next line which read, ”health, excellent.“
“爸爸，”兒子説，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎？”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優。”
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, ”Gigantic Sale!“ and ”Super Bargains!“
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, ”Prices Slashed!“ and ”Fantastic Discounts!“
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ”ENTRANCE“.
two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
”look,“ said the elder brother. ”how nice these paintings are!“
“看，”哥哥説，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
”yes,“ said the younger, ”but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?“
“是啊，”弟弟説道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, ”obviously he was painting the pictures."
哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
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