The Broom Seller and the Barber賣掃帚的人和理髮師
A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.一個賣掃帚的人去理髮店修面。理髮師從他那裏買了一把掃帚。當理髮師給他修面後，問一下他掃帚的價格。
“Two pence,” said the man.賣掃帚的人説：“兩個便士。”
“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”“不，不。”理髮師説：“我只出一個便士，如果你認為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。”
The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.賣掃帚的人拿回了掃帚，隨後問修面要付多少錢。
“A penny,” said the barber.“一便士。”理髮師説。
“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”賣掃帚的人説：“我給你半個便士，如果不夠的話，請把我的鬍子還給我。”
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
奧斯卡駕駛着自己嶄新的奔馳汽車去他最喜愛的體育用品商店。他把車停在了外面，到店裏去找經常為他服務的簡小姐看一些資料。簡是一位非常漂亮的金髮女郎。奧斯卡走進店裏受到了她熱烈的歡迎。奧斯卡提出想先自己轉轉，再找簡幫忙。簡同意了。5分鐘後，簡跑過來大叫着:“奧斯卡，奧斯卡！我剛才看到一個人把你的新奔馳車開走了！”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
“我的天啊！你沒叫住他嗎？”
"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”
“沒有，”簡説:“我的方法更好，我記下了他的車牌號。”
有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她衝出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在裏面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。”
這位女士帶着鼠夾回到家裏，但她沒有在碗櫥裏找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店裏去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜誌中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進了夾子。
令人稱奇的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾裏奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片！
Gardening Gloves
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
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