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1、Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
嗯，今天我們嘗試手淫是為了錢。
2、Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
是的，它告訴我們，你參與的羣眾文化有個錯覺，以為太陽的視位置相對於任意星座的定義你的出生，在某種程度上影響你的人格。
3、You did not “break up” with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
你沒有與喬伊斯·金“分手”。她叛逃到北韓。
4、Ah gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
啊，地心引力，你是一個無情無義的婊子。
5、Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
向我解釋一個組織系統，在那裏一盤扁平餐具在沙發上是有效的。我只是推測，這是一個沙發，因為有證據表明咖啡桌上有一個小車庫出售。
6、I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won't color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
我真的對昨晚發生的事情感到抱歉。我承擔所有的責任，我希望它不會影響你對倫納德的看法，他不僅是一個好男人，而且我聽説，一個温柔而周密的愛人。
7、At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
只是你現在還能從燃燒的廢墟里找回裝滿對她美妙幻想的黑匣子，好好分析下數據你就不會再墜入“呆子谷”。
8、I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
聽着，我認為你能跟Penny做愛的機率跟哈勃太空望遠鏡發現在每個黑洞中央都有個小人在用閃光燈尋找斷路器的機率一樣大。
9、There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
酒精加上她一時糊塗總有可能讓今晚成為浪漫之夜。
10、There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
如果那該死的死亡放射線能用我就不會捱打了。
1.I understand your envy. This is a can't-miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bio-organic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, plus a roundtable on the Non-Equilibrium Green's Function approach to the photoionization process in atoms.
我很理解你會嫉妒。這是決不能錯過的研討會。在那兒會討論生物細胞計算機軟件，多線程任務處理的優勢，還有用非平衡格林函數解決原子內光化電離過程的圓桌會議呢。
this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas inaccessible to any other form of transportation, while on your side, you'll be treated to 350 miles of Costcos, Jiffy Lubes and cinderblock homes with above-ground pools.
在這邊可以看到全海景，任何運輸工具都無法做到這點，而這邊，你只能面對350英里上的好市多超市，捷飛絡汽車服務店，帶凸地泳池的煤渣磚房子。
one calls me “Moonpie” but Mee-Maw.
只有我奶奶才這麼叫我!
y, everything is better with Bluetooth.
佩妮，任何東西加上了藍牙都會好很多。
se me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation -- my brilliance and innovation, of course, but still.
什麼，這難道不正是你的目標嗎?通過企業的獨特性和創新性來達到經濟獨立的目的 -- 是我的獨特性和創新性，但仍是你的目標。
y, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.
抱歉，咖啡絕對不行。當我搬到加州時，我向我媽保證我不會嗑藥的。
, it's not going to be fine. Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not.
不可能會好了。改變總是不是好的。人們説改變是好事，事實才不是。
8.I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the hall, there was no clickety-clacking of high-heeled shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats, just jumping around from drape to drape. Without that annoying ammonia-urine smell.
我從來沒有見過他們。這樣他們才完美。不用尷尬地在樓道打招呼，不會有高跟鞋踩在木質地板的咔咔聲。這一家就像是一窩小貓，從這個窗簾跳到那個窗簾。
on, you honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and in return, he only need buy us a pizza?
等等，你真以為我會相信社交禮儀規定，我們不惜弄傷腰骨幫沃洛維茨搬家，而他只要給我們買份披薩嗎?
en to that! Stomp, stomp, stomp. It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.
聽聽啊，砰砰砰。那是沃洛維茨踩他那個高跟皮鞋，沒錯的。
you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind I propose the following: I will take Rothman’s office and you will find a way to be okay with that.
眾所周知，外交的本質就是妥協。以該本質為指導思想，我提出如下建議：羅斯曼的辦公室歸我，你一邊哭去吧。
12.I’m trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples rip through my shirt.
我在努力提升這屋的温度，太涼了，我激凸得都要扎破襯衫了。
gravel monkeys! If you need to shake rocks, try jiggling your heads around!
嘿，你們這些石猴子!想篩石頭直接用自己腦袋搖着篩吧!
do men’s and women’s hair in the same room at the same time. It’s like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.
那裏無論男人還是女人都坐在同一個房間裏一塊剪。那簡直就像是帶有摩絲的罪惡之城。
15.I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But for all my efforts --like the dinner schedule, the pajamarotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet -- it’s clear now, I’m wasting my time.
我用了一生時間精心安排我每天該做什麼就是想要給這個世界帶來秩序。而我所有的努力-我的晚餐安排，我的睡衣輪換制，我的排便情況試算表--現在我算明白了，我一直在浪費時間。
’s 93. She won’t be disappointed for long.
她都九十三歲了。也失望不了幾年了。
right, I thought the candy might not be enough, so let me up the ante. These are Cooper Coupons. These are for various things I can do for you. Umm, oh this one is for one free grammar check. You could use it for emails, letters, tattoos, what have you. Oh, this is a fun one. This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center where I point out the mistakes.
好吧，我早料到軟糖可能使不動你，那我提高價碼吧。這有幾張庫珀禮券。可以讓我為你做各種事。比如這張，可提供一次免費的語法檢查。我可以幫你檢查電郵，信件，紋身等等，諸如此類的東西。這張可有趣了。用這張可以跟我在加州科學中心共度下午，我會現場指出他們的錯誤。
e women were prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
是妓女啊?你説她們是在為幹細胞研究募資。
’re the one person that can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend. but that ringshollow if you can’t lord him over others in the flesh.
這世界上只有你一個可以説謝爾頓.庫珀是你男友，但這話畢竟有些空洞如果你不能讓他親自去證明。
y percent of marriages end in divorce, but one hundred percent of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness.
五成的婚姻都是以離婚告終，但十成的聖代自助吧都是以幸福收場。
21.I thought she was a highly evolved creature of pure intellect, like me. But recent events indicate that she may be a slave to her baser urges.
我以為她是個高度進化的純高智商物種，就像我。而最近的事件表明她也許不過是個屈服於低級慾望的生物。
the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
如果胡來才是正確的方法的話，那我閉嘴。
23.-Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,
冬天的時候，這個地方離電暖器最近，很暖和，
yet not so close as to cause perspiration;
也不會很熱到直流汗。
the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there, and there.
夏天的時候，這裏又剛好可以吹過堂風，是來自這扇窗户和那扇的。
faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,
而且坐這裏看電視的角度，可以直接看，又不會影響談話，
so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
不會太遠，不至於造成脖子過分扭曲。
28.I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
我可以繼續，我想我已經説明白了。
別老記着? 這能忘得掉嗎?
et? You want me to forget?
我這腦子 啥東西忘得掉啊!
mind does not forget.
從我媽給我斷奶後 我就沒忘掉過一件事
31.I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
- 那天是週二 下着毛毛雨 - 好了...
32. It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
你哭什麼
are you crying?
我哭我自己蠢啊
use I'm stupid!
那也沒理由哭啊
's no reason to cry.
人只有悲傷的時候才該哭
gal pals, Penny and Bernadette, went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy. An action they took with no thought or regard to how it would affect me, the future of string theory or my Lego fun time.因為你們的馬子，佩妮和伯納黛特偷偷跑去買婚禮垃圾，也不叫上艾米。她們完全沒有想過她們會影響到我，影響絃理論的未來，還影響我的樂高歡樂時光。
2.I am a man of science, not someone’s snuggle bunny.我是個搞科研的人，不是某人的抱抱兔。
e’s a bird outside the window, and he won’t go away. That is the hell that is going on.窗户外面有隻鳥，死活不肯走。弄得我跟人間煉獄似的。
’s called ornithophobia, and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and then the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.這叫恐鳥症。而且總有一天，恐鳥症會被視為一種殘疾，房東必須按照法律規定給這棟樓加一張大網。到時就悲劇了，因為我還怕網。
ingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.蜂鳥是鮮花界的吸血鬼。
t me. If I had a death ray, I wouldn’t be living here. I would be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.相信我，如果我有“死光”，我就不會住在這了。我會坐在用不完的錢堆上，都是人們送來賄賂我求我別用“死光”的。
7.A., Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art, a medium that dates back seventeen thousand years to the cave paintings at Lascaux, and B., You play the harp. Like that’s cool.首先，漫畫書通過連環畫來講述故事，這種方式可追溯到一萬七千年前，拉斯科洞穴壁畫時代，其次，你還玩豎琴呢，你以為那很酷嗎？
I okay? Leonard, I’m on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel prize and cities named after me. All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction, and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule.我還好吧？萊納德，我這輩子遲早會拿諾貝爾獎，有座城市還要以我的名字命名。我的四顆智齒在我嘴裏安穩得長着，完全不用拔掉，我的腸道活動就像德國火車一樣規律。
k, cluck, cluck, what are we, ladies at a quilting bee? Or are we men playing a fantasy card game set in a magical frontier town?傻笑，傻笑，傻笑，咱是聚在一起縫棉被的家庭婦女嗎？還是正在玩一個背景設在魔幻邊境的魔幻桌遊的一羣男人？
10.I’m in the Matrix, Leonard. I see everything.我在矩陣裏，萊納德，我什麼都看得見。
生活大爆炸的語錄
“我還可以繼續説下去，但我覺得你已經明白我想説的了。
能欣賞你大腦的工作真是十分榮幸啊~（諷刺）。
這種情況就是不知道大數定律的人常説的巧合吧。
如果那個該死的致死射線有用的話，就輪不到他們教訓我了。
我説你是白痴，我想説是的，我錯了，我不應該把它説出來。
這是一個煩人的失誤。
那是一個挺尷尬的錯誤。
你正在跟西半球僅有的能跟得上你這思維的三人之一在説話。
不可能有人長得及漂亮，又擅長玩電子遊戲。
你現在就笑吧，等你需要技術支持的時候再收拾你。
牀頭板總是放置在遠離門的方向，在古代這對於保護人們不受野獸襲擊十分重要。
我傾向於認為“我在促使他們進步”。
我自找的`，誰叫我出現在你生命裏，又那麼可愛那麼舉足輕重呢！
如果我發現你今晚也是一個人，所以如果在某個時候你感到無聊了，請千萬不要來打擾我。
今天開始，一切都不講理了。
想家也是一種病。
我的興趣如此之好，以至於我覺得你英語的薄弱理解力在我看來都變得親切和迷人了。
我寧願讓蒼蠅在我耳朵產卵然後孵化。
互贈禮物的機制根本毫無意義，假設我出去了，然後為你花了50美元這純粹是費力的活動我還得考慮你需要什麼，然而只有你知道你需要什麼。那麼我可以把事情簡化——直接給你那50美元，然後你會在我生日時候給我50美元，如此反覆，直到我們中的一人死去，另一個老傢伙就會比這個人富有50美元。我問你，這樣有好處嗎？
你知道洞穴最有意思的是什麼麼？什麼都不是。
什麼是真的？什麼不是？我怎麼知道？
互贈禮物的機制根本毫無意義，假設我出去了，然後為你花了50美元這純粹是費力的活動我還得考慮你需要什麼，然而只有你知道你需要什麼。那麼我可以把事情簡化——直接給你那50美元，然後你會在我生日時候給我50美元，如此反覆，直到我們中的一人死去，另一個老傢伙就會比這個人富有50美元。我問你，這樣有好處嗎？
Leonard:什麼事?
Sheldon:我泡了茶.
Leonard:我不想喝茶.
Sheldon:我不是給你泡的.這是我要喝的茶.
Leonard:那你幹嘛告訴我?
Sheldon:因為這是個話茬.
Leonard:是個很爛的話茬.
Sheldon:是嗎?我們在説話了.將死你了.
人等魚上鈎的耐心是有限的，過了那個時間就想要炸魚了.
I'm not crazy, my mom had me tested~
Leonard: 難道每次我都要舉個諷刺的牌子嗎？
Sheldon 你有個諷刺的牌子?
睡覺前Sheldon:我能再説句話麼？
Penny:可以，但是別説押韻的。
Sheldon:Alright~!---------------Good night~!
I don't have to urinate..
I'm the master of my own bladder
我是我自己膀胱的主人
1.I understand your envy. This is a can't-miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bio-organic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, plus a roundtable on the Non-Equilibrium Green's Function approach to the photoionization process in atoms.我很理解你會嫉妒。這是決不能錯過的研討會。在那兒會討論生物細胞計算機軟件，多線程任務處理的優勢，還有用非平衡格林函數解決原子內光化電離過程的圓桌會議呢。
this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas inaccessible to any other form of transportation, while on your side, you'll be treated to 350 miles of Costcos, Jiffy Lubes and cinderblock homes with above-ground pools.在這邊可以看到全海景，任何運輸工具都無法做到這點，而這邊，你只能面對350英里上的好市多超市，捷飛絡汽車服務店，帶凸地泳池的煤渣磚房子。
one calls me “Moonpie” but Mee-Maw.只有我奶奶才這麼叫我！
y, everything is better with Bluetooth.佩妮，任何東西加上了藍牙都會好很多。
se me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation -- my brilliance and innovation, of course, but still.什麼，這難道不正是你的目標嗎？通過企業的獨特性和創新性來達到經濟獨立的目的 -- 是我的獨特性和創新性，但仍是你的目標。
y, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.抱歉，咖啡絕對不行。當我搬到加州時，我向我媽保證我不會吸毒的。
, it's not going to be fine. Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not.不可能會好了。改變總是不是好的。人們説改變是好事，事實才不是。
8.I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the hall, there was no clickety-clacking of high-heeled shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats, just jumping around from drape to drape. Without that annoying ammonia-urine smell.我從來沒有見過他們。這樣他們才完美。不用尷尬地在樓道打招呼，不會有高跟鞋踩在木質地板的咔咔聲。這一家就像是一窩小貓，從這個窗簾跳到那個窗簾。
on, you honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and in return, he only need buy us a pizza?等等，你真以為我會相信社交禮儀規定，我們不惜弄傷腰骨幫沃洛維茨搬家，而他只要給我們買份披薩嗎？
en to that! Stomp, stomp, stomp. It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.聽聽啊，砰砰砰。那是沃洛維茨踩他那個高跟皮鞋，沒錯的。
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